Who Am I

"Who are you really? Describe yourself without using your name, or any attributes given to you by society and really think. Deep down, who are you?"

I am the summation of my thoughts.

I am ‘Let's do this!’ I am ‘Are you sure?’ I am ‘Is this really what I want to do, where I want to be?’ I am ‘I'm tired, I don't want to do this anymore’, kicked in the shins by ‘You know what? I can do it, I've got this!’ I am ‘What time is it? Where's my stuff?? See you inabit!’ And the illusive ‘On the way’. I am ‘I’m so hungry right now, Dude shut up, Those are really cheap plane tickets, and ‘That stationary cover is beautiful’. I am the additions of ‘Shit! Crap! Bloody Hell! Multiplied with ‘Hell Yes! Carpe Diem! That’s amazing!’ I am subdivisions of ‘I can’t, No more, Please’ balanced on a scale of ‘I can, Hey, I did it, I’m through!’ With all that as well I’m integrations of ‘I miss you, Goodnight’, and ‘Love’. I am ‘Take care, Be safe, You’re in my prayers’. I am ‘Thank you so much’. I am ‘One day, Definitely, Maybe’. I am ‘I hope’. I am ‘I will.’

I am the accumulation of my experience.

I am nine years old, aching from the raw hunger of an unfed stomach, with no pocket money to buy anything for lunch for two days. I am twelve, skipping my private religious school day after day, unwilling to participate and become victim of a bullying culture. I am sixteen, crying underneath a wooden table in the classroom, disappointed with my SPM trials. I am nineteen, laughing with a mix of delight and awe as I sit back on a marble tile to gaze at the grand Taj Mahal. I am twenty years old, dressed in beautiful soft chiffon and glitter, being chauffeured to a fine dining celebration in the heart of the city. I am twenty one and camped out at the studio with AutoCAD work, preparing a presentation for ministry officials at my government office, drinking cups of butterscotch at Wondermilk as I meet article deadlines. I’m twenty two and sweat is dripping down my face as I dig up dirt to make the foundation of a house. I am twenty-two and a half, saying goodbye to my family as I take a flight to the other side of the world. I’m twenty two and three quarters, walking through the brisk winter air, passing by the Thames River to get to my warm bed, and this is the present.

I am the product of my actions.

I am Ideas and Execution, Goals and Ambition. I am Team Work, part of an award winning collaborative Malaysia-Germany team for the F1 in schools world championships. I am Determination, attending three tuition classes for additional mathematics to score the A1 in my secondary education finals. I am Shout and Creativity, performing impromptu skits at a traveler’s theater in Bangsar, taking up violin classes for Archifest performances, emceeing for events. I am Discipline, qualifying as a national lifeguard after weeks of swimming training sessions. I am Aid, touched after nights of volunteering for soup kitchen in the slums of KL. I am Stepping Up the Game, choreographing a conversation instead of a standard presentation to ace my scholarship interview. I am the Reaper of my Rewards, juggling jobs during semester to pay for my gap year adventures. I am Chasing Dreams, Living in Moments, Growing and Learning Every day. I am Here. I am Now. 


I hope this was a good enough answer. What's yours?